The British Royal family has never known a time when it hasn’t been riddled with shame from embarrassing scandals.
Many ask why the British even need a Royal family anymore, especially one that is rife with scandals that bring them shame and humiliation. Some suggest they become entangled in scandal because, after all, they are only human. However, if they are only human like you or I, why do we put them on a pedestal to receive undue respect and reverence?
Advocates of the monarchy will argue that the Royal family is a lucrative tourist attraction. And indeed, many tabloid magazines and newspapers can make a lot of money when they publish the scandalous details of the shameful trouble the Royal family finds themselves embroiled. But surely these days there are enough Hollywood celeb scandals to keep them busy?
Below we share with you the 5 most embarrassing Royal scandals:
1. Prince Charles wants to be a tampon
The Royal family are as randy as rabbits on heat, and can’t keep their hands off each other. What is worse, is that they engage in extra-marital affairs as a hobby. The future King of England did just that with his high school sweetheart Camilla Parker-Bowles.
Allegedly, he was so smitten by Camilla that he even spent a sordid night with her before he wedded his younger bit of fluff, Diana. According to many sources, Camilla was the “third person” in the marriage of the Prince and mother of Prince William and Prince Harry.
The most disgusting and shameful revelation about the illicit affair was a recording of a telephone conversation between Prince Charles and Camilla. During the conversation, the Prince told her that he desired to be reincarnated as one of her tampons.
2. Diana and “Squidgey-gate”
Princess Diana was no angel herself. In a taped phone conversation with a friend, she allows him to call her the cute nickname “Squidgey” giving rise to rumor she was having an affair with James Gilbey. This was further implied when she described her married life with the Prince as “real torture.”
Nevertheless, the rumor of an affair between Diana and Gilbey never was proven. However, the press later revealed that Diana had had an affair with Major James Hewitt, whom she had employed as her riding instructor. Immediately, there was media speculation that Diana’s red-headed child Harry was the illegitimate son of red-headed Hewitt. Lucky for Harry, his eyes are identical to his father Charles, so no illegitimate parenting occurred.
3. Criminal Princess Anne
Not only does Princess Anne love a good dead innocent fox, but she also doesn’t seem to mind owning a dog that is vicious enough to draw blood from a child. It seems she enjoys a life of crime!
The British Parliament banned fox-hunting over a decade ago, but that didn’t stop Anne’s blood lust for killing foxes. She responded to the ban by getting on her horse to go and murder some more. This viciousness appears to extend to her choice of pets too.
In 2002, Anne pleaded guilty to allowing Dotty, one of her bull terrier dogs, to attack a couple of children. The Judge demanded that she pay a fine of £500, a further £500 in damages, £148 court costs, professionally train her dog and keep it on a lead. Anne should have known better. Allegedly, Dotty had also attacked the Queen’s corgis in the past.
4. Royal racist rants
Nothing is more rancid than privileged aristocracy looking down on those different to themselves and indulging in racist rants. Most notorious for his racist tirades was the Queen’s husband Philip. Philip has gone down in historical record calling the Hungarians “pot bellies” and the Chinese “slitty eyes.”
Philips list of racist rants is very long. He once asked an indigenous Australian if he still threw spears, and assumed the young people in a Bangladeshi youth club were on drugs. Philip’s verbal diarrhea continued when he asked a Kenyan woman if she was, in fact, a woman.
Horrifyingly, it appears that his grandson Harry may have inherited some of these racist traits. The public and media were horrified at Harry’s heartless choice of costume for a Halloween party in 2005. Of all the characters he could choose, the dimwitted Prince decided to go to the party as a Nazi.
5. Stranger in Queen’s bedroom
One hilarious scandal to hit the Royals would eventually become the theme behind the number 1 song written by The Smiths “The Queen Is Dead,” which exemplifies the ridiculousness of modern day Royalty perfectly.
“So I broke into the palace, with a sponge and a rusty hammer. She said ‘I know you, and you cannot sing.’ I said ‘That’s nothing! You should hear me play piano.’” These lyrics describe the time in 1982 that Michael Fagan broke into Buckingham Palace and found himself in the Queen’s bedroom.
Consequently, a scandal broke out about the immensely lax security surrounding the Royal family. Allegedly, Fagan had made it a hobby to break into the palace on previous occasions. He describes how he had found the rooms of Charles and Diana, and tried out the thrones for comfort. Later, Fagan would be sent to a mental health institution for his efforts.