Have you ever wanted to take a peek into the secret world of adult baby fetishists?
We are all curious about the bizarre things adults get up to, and adult baby fetishists appear to be controversial at first glance. In fact, your first impression is probably that it sounds illegal!
But before you call the police or start a witch hunt, let’s look at what it really is. Especially because, in many cases, it is a fetish for people who don’t even like sex!
Derek Ventham and his wife Maxine run an adult baby nursery in Bootle in the UK. They are quick to stress, that in their case, Derek’s desire to play the baby is not sexual.
In fact, Ventham would like the public to know that this fetish has no connection to actual real children or babies. He claims “We don’t want to be with children, we want to be the child“.
Escapism and Relaxation
When Maxine discovered Derek’s fetish, she had already fallen in love with him. So she quickly slipped into the role of “Mummy Maxine”. She is swift to assert that when she is role playing the mother, she makes no sexual contact.
Her love of playing the mother role increased after having repeated miscarriages. She feels she can express her maternal nature via her husband and her clients.
Their clients range in all ages, but what is interesting is a number of ex-servicemen that take to this fetish. The couple believes that these men crave emotional attachment and security after experiencing the horrors of war. They don’t feel they get their needs met deeply enough in any other way. They feel the need to go back to being a baby.
The couple has an entire adult size baby room set up for their clients. Complete with toys, a giant crib, and an adult size high chair. Maxine will change their diapers, spoon feed them baby food, feed them bottles and cuddle them like they are infants. She will even bathe them and then read them children’s stories.
Why would someone want to pretend to be a baby?
There are many reasons people desire to regress to the state of a baby. However, the reasons are diverse. Some had traumatic childhoods, and feel that by going into a baby state they can heal themselves. Other adults feel that their childhood was the only time they felt safe. They regress in order to return to that safe place.
Yet another group does admit to the experience as being sexual. There appears to be a spectrum that exists between people who enjoy role playing being a baby and those who have a diaper fetish. Many with merely a diaper fetish don’t even play the baby role play. For some, they can only achieve sexual pleasure when defecating into a diaper.
A chain of adult baby fetish stores opened in the US last year. Tykables sells adult-sized baby paraphernalia, such as adult diapers and adult-sized baby clothes. It recently caused outrage in its local community due to the misinformation about the fetish community.
On the Tykables website their statement reads: “At Tykables, we believe that you should Refuse To Adult and that Adulthood Is Optional“.
Is having an adult baby fetish a mental disorder?
Psychologist Kaitlyn Hawkinson and her colleague Brian Zamboni wrote a paper on the fetish in 2014. They published their paper in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
They made a broad study of the entire Adult Baby and Diaper Lover community. They have come to call themselves ABDL, however, the researchers noticed a wide spectrum under this umbrella term.
They studied 1795 males and 139 females whose average ages were around 31 years. They noticed the group was extremely diverse. Many were into strictly non-sexual role-play. For others, it was only sexual. But for many in the study, the lines between the 2 blurred.
They noticed that the males mostly enjoyed diaper wearing. Whilst the females in the study felt they needed to experience domination. The males were more likely to discover their fetish at a younger age than the females.
Is ABDL just a different form of BDSM?
Many have tried to compare ABDL to BDSM. However, there are many stark differences. BDSM involves cruelty, humiliation, and pain. When someone has an adult baby fetish, they are looking for trust, nurture, and love. Any dominance they crave is in the form that a parent would give boundaries to their child.
ADBL: Paraphilic infantilism, also known as autonepiophilia, psychosexual infantilism, and adult baby syndrome is a sexual fetish that involves role-playing a regression to an infant-like state.
Kat and Justin have a relationship where she likes to be a child, and he likes to be the daddy. They spend some of their relationship as regular adults. However, mostly Kat submits herself entirely to Justin’s domination.
Justin treats Kat like he would a real daughter. Any sexual expression in their relationship is in their adult life. But he is very strict with her. She must wear her hair in pigtails, and he chooses her childish clothes for her each day.
Kat sometimes feels there is too much of a power struggle. She likes to play at being about 5 or 6 years of age. He would prefer her to role play as a toddler. Justin stresses that this is not in order to be more powerful over her. He claims it is because he wants her to trust him more deeply.
Cheaper than psychotherapy
All in all, people who were within this community feel it causes them no harm. In fact, they believe it is cheaper and more effective than psychotherapy for any of their issues. Many have suffered mental illness, and this is a way for them to get relief.
Not all are lucky enough to have understanding partners. About half the members of the community keep it secret from loved ones. And of those in relationships, about 20% feel they can’t tell their partners. But at least thanks to the internet, many who practice in secret can find others similar to themselves.
There are a lot of strange and bizarre things people do in this world. But if it keeps people alive and brings them joy, who are we to argue? We wish them well, inside their secret world!
Image credit: TheWacky on Youtube