Everyone has an opinion these days, and they feel as though they must win their side of the argument.
But with everyone set on being the one to win their argument, arguments never seem to get anywhere. People seem set in their ways and refuse to listen to your logic and reasoning. Ironically, they then accuse you of not listening to their logic and reasoning!
Then it gets worse when emotional frustration sets in. In the worse case scenarios, the desire to win an argument can turn into a violent episode. It can even lead to wars.
Why don’t cold hard facts change someone’s mind in an argument?
People are social creatures. Most derive their identity from the group they belong within. This group provides them with safety and validation. When you rock the boat of their social identity, they will fear you are trying to threaten their security. The sense you are trying to invalidate them.
Cognitive dissonance occurs when new information threatens a person’s identity within their group. Studies done with MRI machines to show cognitive dissonance in action. If a person’s ideas become threatened a person’s strong emotions show up in the scan. This neurological response leads to emotional reasoning.
Therefore, to win an argument you must avoid triggering someone’s emotional reasoning. They need to feel secure and validated when receiving potentially threatening information.
How to Win Arguments
1. Make Sure You Are Not Emotional
The brain works on three basic levels. There is the rational brain, the emotional brain, and the primitive brain.
The emotional brain receives sensations. If the emotional brain senses a threat, it will default to the primitive brain to survive. The primitive brain controls the fight/flight response, as well hunger and lust etc.
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